Being the age I am, I often feel very insecure about my writing. I think to myself, is it worth it?
As I read other posts on this site, or the words of a famous author I reflect on how untrained I am in this, how naive, and how uninformed. I read the words of an adult and I can see how empty my writing is compared, the lack of experience and knowledge.
It is hard to put onto paper( or rather the internet) what I mean by this.
The work of someone older, one who has finished even just high school has much more substance, they know the rules of writing that I have not yet had the privilege to learn, and experience with many more things.
And I wonder, who would want to read the petty ramblings of a teenager? Though many of my peers praise me on my writing I know that it is not that great.
This, this insecurity often hinders my work. It nags at the back of my mind as I type, spewing words of discouragement.
You suck, why bother? Have you read the work of others? Compared to them you must look like a lump on a log. You’re nothing but a teenager who has a dream to big for her own head!
All the thoughts of the disbelievers finding their way into my young, fresh brain.
I compare my work to everything! Even to that of a cousin only a year older. She has finished this grade, she has had the chance to explore the wonders of this world more than I, so what do I think I am doing? Sitting here writing petty stories, posting on a blog where all other participants are adults who have what it takes.
And then I remind myself that I am only 15 and my knowledge will grow, and my experience will expand. I must practice for all I am worth, find new and inventive ways to create a new world, to write a blog post thats worth reading.
Of course that doesn’t actually work, in fact it usually makes things worse. Yet here I am, writing another blog post for the world to see just how inexperienced I am.
So there! I’ve done it, gone and told the world another petty problem that no one actually cares about. I guess maybe I am hoping to attract other adolescents who have that same problem.
WELL! Goodbye again, I shall continue to write and in 5-6 years I will look back upon this post and laugh about how sucky my grammar and punctuation is (because I am quite aware of my failings), and see then how much I have improved and maybe even write a novel or two.